Siddity in the City

No work today or tomorrow. Nope. I’m CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.

Generally, I hate Christmas shopping. I never know what to get, and who qualifies for gifties, and who should just get a card, and if I do get something good I want to keep it so I end up keeping it for myself or if I really like the receiver, getting one for them and one for me, which means double expenditure. Or worse, I get giftcards, which scream “Contrary to our veneer of friendship, I do not in fact know you well enough or do not wish to set aside enough time to choose anything you might like. Have fun at Home Depot.”

Butbutbut. This year, I am conserving cash, so I’m on a budget. Plus, because I am conserving cash, I haven’t been shopping for myself lately (except for Krickette which was an absolute necessity so she and her expensive accoutrements don’t count), so this is like, license to shop!

Still, shopping can be a huge pain in the ass, so I’m going to do everything possible to minimize shopping distress:

1. Have a fortifying breakfast.

I chose cake (red velvet) and champagne (Feuillatte rose in one of those cute quarter-bottles. See, I had gotten it as part of a gift package I was putting together for a friend and then I wanted one so I got two but…anyway, I’ll get her another or something else. *hic*). Takes the edge off pushing through crowds and totally eliminates nigglings of guilt over tripping grannies who make it to the half-price Wii before you do. Be sure to catch the Wii as she goes down.

2. Strategize.

I plan to get as much as I can for cheap at the malls in the Queens before heading into the city and taking out the big guns. God bless Marshalls and Target and…stuff.

3. Budget, but don’t be a fuckin’ cheapskate.

Why bother getting people shit they won’t like because you got it on extra-super-clearance? How many pairs of slipper socks can one person stand? Not that many, I promise. If money’s that tight, give them a cookie and a kind word. They’ll understand.

4. Know your audience.

This one gives me trouble. For some people, the shopping is dreadfully easy. Auntie who loves baking? Handled. Girly-girl roomate? Yup. Mom who refuses to tell you what she wants except to say the same thing you’ve gotten her the last two years??? Damn. Dad whose greatest hobby is discount shopping and selling the haul on ebay? Wha-huh?

Anyway. If I dilly-dally here all day, I’ll never get a thing done. What do you want for Christmas?