Temp Agency Rep: “Hi! I just wanted to touch base with you regarding an opportunity we have coming up! I think this one would be really good for you! What it is, it’s a position with a nonprofit charter school development organization. I know you have some experience and your computer scores are really good, and so you’d be supporting the manager, you know, handling reports and things. And the manager, he’s a bit crotchety, he’s a real character, but just a sweetheart when you get used to him and have been there for a while. You’d start tomorrow and it would run for sure through the 19th, but it is temp-to-perm, so there is that permanent opportunity.”
Sid: “…” *click*
No, I didn’t actually hang up on her. I should have, though. Let’s revisit the highlights of that little shitstorm of spin together, shall we?
1. Temporary
2. Nonprofit
Now, we could stop here, because this is all we really need to know. Temp+nonprofit=60% of fuck all.
But! It gets better.
3. Charter Schools
SCHOOLS. Charter schools=children. Effective immediately–nay, retroactively–Sid is for all intents and purposes allergic to any and all traces of children, bullshit, and raffia. Okay?
4. Manager…”crotchety”…”character”
If you feel compelled to euphemistically use words like “crotchety” and “character,” neither of which are favorable, exactly how big of an asshole is this guy? Don’t answer. Doesn’t matter. Moving right along…
5. Permanent opportunity
In nonprofit…education…administration. Did somebody miss the memo about me:
a) not seeking a permanent position unless
b) it is in media and
c) not seeking anything paying less than $15/hr unless
d) it is in media?
e) ???????!
For real? Because I sent out an email, and I’m pretty sure I cc’d you.
6. Hourly rate
Let’s not forget what went unsaid in all that, which would be the actual hourly rate. Now, I realize this one is a nonprofit temp gig, so it’s going to be low, but these people never ever ever leave the rate out entirely. When I was offered a 70 hour/week assignment at $13/hr they made sure I knew that they knew it was shit but that I’d be getting time-and-a-half on overtime. To not say anything… As if I wouldn’t notice…
I am insulted, as is my wallet.* So no. Nah man. Not the kid. Find another sucker.
*This is not simple arrogance. Anything under $15/hr in NYC, with associated living expenses (commuting, meals, etc.) actually ends up costing me so much money that I hardly break even. As a matter of fact, over the long term, I was steadily draining my savings while working. Better to take the occasional week-long assignment with the higher wage than to burn money chasing a job I don’t want and wasting time better spent looking for one I do, for the illusion of a steady income.
I’m always amazed at the balls temp agencies have. I don’t blame you for not taking the job at all (even though the money-grubbing machoist in me would be like “YES!” because that part of me is stupid). If it’s not payin’ the bills, it’s not going to work. Just reading over the description had warning bells going off in my head.
And I love euphamisms. It’s like saying that someone’s got a “quirky” personality when you’re getting set up for a blind date. Crochety is definitely code for “asshole” and saying that you’ll warm up to him is rather presumptious, dontcha think?
You can barely live on 15/hr out here… wait, I do have the kid so maybe that’s why it seemed so hard. Wait, no, 15/hr just sux everywhere. The crotchety character is going to have to find someone else to crotch all over - ew! Love ya Sid.
I think you should raise your rate. I accepted something at what I thought was a decent rate–the high end of what I made years prior (which is actually higher than yours) and it turns out that I can barely make ends meet by the end of the month. High ball them and you can usually wind up with a livable wage.
And yeah, they can’t pay you enough to work with an ass.