On authority, education, and securing the best for our children.
Published by Sid May 10th, 2007 in bitchery. Tags: No Tags.It’s an awkward mouthful of a title. I don’t much care, though.
During a routine call to the fam a few nights ago, I had a casual chat with my high school-age brother. It went something like this:
Bro: What’s good, pimpin’? (Yeah…I tried to break him of this particular term of address. Now he does it just to irritate me. I’m also trying to get BET officially banned in the ancestral home. Mixed success. Baby steps.)
Sid: Not much mang. How you?
Bro: Ok. I just got back from the courts.
Sid: *eyes glazing at mention of basketbazzzZZzz* Cool. How’s school?
Bro: School? It’s ok. My math teacher said I can’t take honors next year…*mumble* B average*mumble*
Sid: *ears perking* Whowhatnow? She won’t let you take honors?
Bro: Just forget it, forget it.
Sid: No, hang on. Don’t let her do that to you!
Bro: It’s school policy, you have to have a certain average, just…nevermind.
Sid: Put mom on the phone.
Bro: *Sigh*
I then proceeded to let loose a stream of unkind obscenities about the math teacher, followed by, simply, “She can’t do this. Those different level courses are weighted, and they will affect his GPA. Don’t let him take this lying down! The next course is a set of totally different concepts, and he may respond to them better than he did to Algebra I, or the next teacher may have a better approach. Email her, schedule a meeting, and insist he take that honors course. Go over her head if you have to. If you have to give at all, say he’ll take summer tutoring, you want him in the honors level course first semester, and if he doesn’t earn high enough grades, then they can move him down. They can come up with something.”
Turns out my brother had only made vague mention of the issue to our mother, and hadn’t quite filled her in on all the details. I only had them because I’d gone to the same school and could infer the rest.
My mother sent an email to the teacher that night. Her response? Oh, “all parents have the right to override a student into the course.” She believed his grades did “show mastery of skill.” She would therefore make sure he was scheduled for the higher level class.
*slow blink* Now, why in the hell couldn’t she do that IN THE FIRST PLACE?
My brother, having been trained to respect authority, and being one of a handful of high-achieving black students in his high school, is always reluctant to make a fuss. As such, he was willing to let a book of guidelines and literally three or four percentage points (between a B and B-) send him from an honors (and ultimately AP) math track to plain ol’ college prep. And it would have happened, but for a polite, four-sentence email challenging the rules. (Edit: turns out it was’t really the teacher’s fault. The rules for progression through the honors track are apparently published in a book of academic guidelines, and my brother didn’t even talk with the teacher about it. He just assumed he had to be bumped down, and he would have been. This is almost worse, because he was reacting to what he perceived to be an even higher authority than the teacher–the “school rules”. *head in hands* If I learned anything working with the uber rich, it’s that nearlyeverythingis negotiable. Maybe not grades, and maybe not violent offense, but other than that? You won’t know unless you ask.)
[rant]
Moral: If there is a black child in your life–hell, any child not born to outrageous privilege (complete with tutors, chauffeurs, legal counsel and mommydaddy on the private-school board)–take a minute to engage them on education. Will they love this conversation? Not likely. Will they try to skip out on it? Yep. Do you need to find out what the hell is going on anyway? Ya THINK? Ask them about their lives, their teachers, their schools. Really listen to them. And if they are saying anything other than, “My teachers are great, I have all As, I love school!” find out why, and then fix it. Stage an intervention, hire a tutor, call parent-teacher meetings when you see the need, not just during scheduled quarterly sessions. For the love of god, push for the best for your child!
Too often, black children get shunted into academic hinterlands over the slightest hiccup, and parents don’t fight because they don’t know what’s happening, don’t know any better, or they fight the wrong way, suggesting any problem with their child’s performance is entirely the school’s fault. We all know public schools are underperforming, teachers are overburdened, blah blah. Your child still deserves the best education you can procure, and make no mistake, the onus is ON YOU to procure it. Not the school system (at least not alone) and certainly not just on your child. Pay attention, people, and get involved.
[/rant] That is all.
*I so cannot have kids. I would be the ultimate pain-in-the-ass hovering mother:
“What do you MEAN, little Noah would be “more comfortable” in the kiddie sucky-duckling swim class? What, is the water softer there or something?! HE STAYS IN ADVANCED!”
Sigh.
A-frickin’-men! Whew–we’ve got a lot to talk about on this one. As a white faculty member on an overwhelmingly white, privileged campus that is desperately trying to “diversify” its student body, this small rant gives me a lot of insight into the hows and whys so many stupid, wrong things happen around me and why the college has a hard time “retaining” students of color.
I am loving your rants these days, lady! Rock. On.
Sid,
As a teacher I see this every day. When parents come into my classroom I always encourage them to come in often, unannounced. Sadly, when I ask parents if they have any further questions aftering answering their initial concerns, they always reply, “no,” and are on their way.
Parents should inquire about the testing their children are taking, how the testing works (rankings, percentages, grades, and whatever else comes to mind). If you aren’t satisfied with the grades your child is getting, get busy and become proactive! Your child won’t know what to say, but be his/her advocate. Have the teacher explain exactly how your child received the grade, have the teacher show you the scale, look at all of your child’s grades, and with the teacher’s help, become aware of averaging.
Don’t ever settle if you aren’t satisfied. Sid is so right. Rock on!
Too often, black children get shunted into academic hinterlands over the slightest hiccup, and parents don’t fight because they don’t know what’s happening.
I so agree with that statement.
Not to mention the preconceived notions the teachers may already have about black children. My son attended a chi-chi preschool in Cambridge (school cost half my salary–more than my mortgage–and that was as the scholarship family). I noticed that when the little towheaded yuppie boys jumped, pushed, hooted and hollered, they were being adventurous, confident leaders. “Boys will be boys,” the teachers would sigh, rolling their eyes and smiling. When *my* boy did anything remotely boisterous, he was aggressive, intimidating, and in need of Ritalin.
I complained, and the director took me aside and suggested I should just be grateful because we were costing the school more money than we brought in. “How so,” I asked. “Well, she said, “we had to hire Jerome to serve as a positive male role model for your son.” I was a divorced mom. She continued, telling me some mess about some studies blahblah black boys growing up without their fathers blahblah no positive black role models blah blah primary cause of disfunction in black community blahblah. I said, “But Jerome is Jamaican. I have about as much culture in common with him as I do with the man in the moon.” She blinked and said, “The point is that he is around a strong black man, even though his own father isn’t around.” I said, “His father is white, so he wouldn’t be getting too much of this strong black manhood thing anyway.” She shook her head and said she was sorry I was so bitter. Ha!
slow clap. i am so with you on this one.
[rant]in high school my counselor actually discouraged me from applying from 4 year colleges because she thought community college would be better for me (despite i was in the college-level Humanitas program, was talking AP english and wrote on the newspaper). i restrained myself from slapping her face - because i’d overheard her pushing a lackluster classmate of mine into all sorts of ivy schools - i ignored her, applied to the colleges and slowly spread all my UC and private school acceptance letters across her desk and watched as her pink face twitched. (yeah, i’m still angry about that bitch.)
sure, i eventually ended up going to community college, but for financial reasons since my dad was getting his degree and my family couldn’t take two college tuitions at once. i made sure i got into the honors curriculum that was built around the ucla undergrad curricula and was an easy transfer to ucla when i finished my gen ed requirements.
i ran into that counselor once, while i was visiting my family, and she asked how i was doing and i reminded her of what she told me back in 1987. “But I ended up at UCLA and now I’m getting my Ph.D at the University of Michigan.” at least she had the grace to blush. bitch![/rant]
crap. i was so nostalgically angry i meant to say “from applying TO 4 year colleges.” crap.
@ cat: i’m shocked the director said that. that’s absolutely the rudest thing i’ve ever heard. what unbelievable nerve.
Thank you for addressing this. I, too, have a brother who will be a senior in high school next year. His lackluster interest in academics angers me so. He just coasts by with below average grades. I understand the public schools are overcrowded and the teacher are overworked and underpaid (another brother is a teacher) but it’s the parents job to be on top of this stuff cause the system isn’t going to do it for you.
I remember when I was in high school none of the counselor’s pushed anyone to go to any big name or ivy colleges although most of us were of that caliber. They pushed all the community and local colleges where we were a shoe-in to get accepted so that the schools numbers would go up for students to college ratio.
My son is a year old and I am starting to look for nursery programs for him for next year. This is a lot of research so I can only image what I will be up against when he is in elementary and high school. But you can best believe I will be up in the crack of EVERYONE’S a** when it comes to his education. Those teachers will know me by name and see my face all the time, not just when ish goes down. I will be at every parent/teacher conference, volunteering for class trips, organizing fundraisers, etc. I want to know what the homework is, when it’s due, what books they are using. No one will be pulling the wool over my eyes. Institutions have a habit of streamlining black boys into “problem programs” and it’s not going down like that. That happened to my husband when he was in school in the 80s and it really scarred him.
Damn I was just talking about this the other day!! I’m in total agreement with ya here!!