Siddity in the City

I just heard one of your handy hosts utter the phrase “one-of-a-kind, figure flattering pair of gauchos!”

Assuming I had surely misheard, I looked up to find a perfectly attractive woman wearing a pair of…denim. Gauchos. Made by inserting a panel of hideous–excuse me, vintage–fabric down each leg of the once-perfectly-attractive jeans. This happened after she took old coats that would have been ideal for donation and turned them into hideous throw pillows, but before she began a project featuring patches. P-A-T-C-H-E-S.

Listen, just stop. The last thing we need is to have you giving people the idea that, just because they can do something, they should. Can I cut up my old winter coat to make throw pillows? Probably. Should I? HELL NO, WHO NEEDS ORANGE TWEED THROW PILLOWS?

Oh. But her embroidery hoop canvas idea is pretty brilliant, actually. I might have to try that. Not with the “canvas masterpiece out of fabric scraps” she just made, because that was ugly as…homemade sin, but–wait. What am I thinking? Actual pre-made canvases can be had for under $10 per!

I blame ReadyMade. And hipsters. Bad-haircut having sumbitches.